A Bug in the System
by bernaner
Summary: This is my first fic here ^_^ Based on an RP with me and some friends. The title sounds weird, but if you read you'll understand it, hehe. Please R&R! Thankyee!
1. A Bug in the System

It started off as a completely normal day in whatever town Invader Zim lived in. He went to Skool, tormented Dib, and dealt with GIR's… erm… adorable stupidity. But then things changed a little.  
  
"Bwahahah!" shouted Dib from his lab triumphantly. "I've got it… a dog! A DOG will keep Zim out of my lab… I might even be able to get pictures of him doing something weird and… and… alieny!" He finished with a cackle.  
  
"Dib, you're talking to yourself again," yelled Gaz from downstairs, where she was playing her Gameslave (surprise surprise).  
  
Dib simply blinked a couple times and broke into the cackle again. "Ooh, I've got you now, Zim… I can smell the sweet, sweet-smelling smell of victory riiiight now…" And with that, he got on his computer, and bought a dog online. Within moments, a truck drove up to the Membrane house. A man got out and put a big box with holes on the doorstep.  
  
"Yes! It's here!" Dib said and ran outside. He opened up the box and peered into it. Inside was a tiny white puppy with black and brown markings.  
  
Gaz walked outside and saw the puppy, which ran over to her, tail wagging, and tried to jump up on her.  
  
"Ack! Dumb mutt," she muttered and sat down on the front step. The puppy continued to be as annoying as he possibly could.  
  
Meanwhile, Zim watched all this from his lab below his house. "Interesting. Dib is up to something. GIR! Let us go and see what our puny- minded human foe is doing!" He shouted to GIR, who was watching the Scary Monkey Show.  
  
"Aye aye, Master!" shouted GIR, jumping up and saluting. His tongue hung out of his mouth, making him look incredibly stupid. Zim and GIR both got into disguise and walked out of the house, then into Dib's yard. Zim had GIR on a leash.  
  
"Hello, Dib," said Zim, smiling evilly. GIR saw a squirrel and immediately began imitating it.  
  
Dib turned around and saw Zim, still holding the dog. He smiled slightly. "Zim."  
  
This was followed by a long, awkward pause in which the two simply stared at each other.  
  
"So, I see you got a… delivery," said Zim coolly.  
  
"Yes. This is my new dog… er…" he turned quickly to Gaz and whispered. "What's his name?"  
  
Gaz growled and said, "Call him Annoying, that's what he is,"  
  
Dib turned back to Zim. "His name is… uh… Bug! Yes! Zim, meet Bug!" he grinned maliciously and motioned to Bug.  
  
Zim stared at the puppy for a moment. He then let out a loud cackle. "Ohhh, that's funny Dib… you think your little puppies can save you from my reign of terror?!"  
  
Dib scowled and picked up Bug. "Yes I can, Zim… you'll just have to wait and see what I can do with a dog!" He turned and walked inside.  
  
"Hrrmph… stupid earth worm…" hissed Zim. GIR began to run around Zim, tangling him up in the leash.  
  
"Foolish… erm… perfectly normal canine!" Zim shouted. Gaz, who was still on the steps, just stared.  
  
"You have a pretty stupid dog," she said coldly.  
  
"You have a pretty stupid brother," Zim retorted.  
  
Gaz paused for a second, then replied, "I know."  
  
"Glad we agree. NOW! GIR! Get me out of this!" he shouted. GIR began to run around the other way, and Zim was freed.  
  
"YES! Very good, my perfectly normal canine! Now, let us go find that horrible Dib…"  
  
Gaz rolled her eyes. "You people are weird." She said, then walked inside. Zim blinked at her for a moment.  
  
"Well, she's nice," he said sarcastically.  
  
"I like her," replied GIR.  
  
"Eurgh. No matter… it's time to get that mutt away from Dib!" yelled Zim, and started to think up a way to get into the house and steal Bug. He went to the door and tried to open it, but alas, it was locked. "I'll have to try the window!" he said, then scurried off. He came back in a few moments, carrying a ladder.  
  
"BEHOLD, GIR! The ladder is the key to our victory! Now, to ascend to the earth-worm's window!" He shouted triumphantly, propping the ladder up against the wall.  
  
He began to climb, then suddenly jumped down again. "WAIT! I need a disguise…" Zim said, then ran off again. GIR waited patiently, throwing acorns around, until Zim came back, dressed as a pizza delivery boy. Once again, he climbed up the ladder and knocked on Dib's window.  
  
"PIZZA! Who ordered pizza?!" he said, tapping on the window some more and holding up a pizza box, which was actually empty.  
  
Dib came over to the window and stared at him. "…Who delivers pizza at the window? ZIM! I'll destroy you! Now LEAVE!"  
  
"Drat," muttered Zim and slid down the ladder. "Obviously my clever disguise was not clever enough… hrrm… How to get in… Maybe I could try the front door. Dib's sister will certainly let me in then! BWAHAHA!" He stomped around to the front door.  
  
"Ahem. PIZZA! Perfectly normal pizza delivery!" he said and knocked on the door.  
  
Gaz growled to herself. "Who is it now? Oh… pizza!" she jumped up and opened the front door.  
  
Zim quickly handed her the empty pizza box and rushed inside, cackling. "YES! Using the ultimate powers of fast food I have entered the human worm- boy's house!"  
  
Meanwhile, Gaz opened up the pizza box. She blinked when she saw that there wasn't a pizza. "No… no pizza. Delivery boy… will pay," she muttered, then turned slowly to face Zim, who was frantically trying to get into Dib's room.  
  
Zim pounded on the door of Dib's room. "OPEN UP, Dib! I've come for the dog!" he yelled, grinning evilly. Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw a very angry Gaz staring at him.  
  
"There's no pizza in this box." She said, holding up the box for him to inspect.  
  
"Uh… yes. My perfectly normal canine companion got hungry on the long commute here," Zim replied, then turned back to Dib's door.  
  
"But I want a pizza," Gaz said softly, her eye twitching dangerously.  
  
"I'm very sorry, human girl, but I have no pizza." Zim said, slightly annoyed.  
  
Gaz simply stared at him menacingly. He shifted nervously. "Um…"  
  
Suddenly, Gaz smiled slightly and motioned for Zim to come over to her. She glanced around suspiciously.  
  
Zim stared at her, wondering what she was up to. He shrugged and shuffled over to her, still nervous. Gaz whispered, "I'll make you a deal. You get me a pizza, and I'll give you the dog."  
  
He grinned and shot one arm up into the air. "AHA! A deal maker, are you? You're on!" Zim stuck out his arm to her, and they shook on the deal.  
  
Zim turned to GIR. "COME, GIR! We must find a pizza!" And with that, he ran out of the Membrane house, dragging GIR behind him.  
  
*****  
  
Zim and GIR arrived at Bloaty's Pizza Hog in a few minutes. GIR bounced around on the end of his leash while Zim talked to the pizza guy.  
  
"I'll have one pizza with perfectly normal human filth on it!" Zim demanded.  
  
"Uh… okay," said the pizza guy, then turned and yelled back into the kitchen, "One large pizza with anchovies!"  
  
"Yummy!" said GIR as the pizza guy handed Zim the pizza.  
  
"All right, GIR, let's go!" he said, then headed back towards Dib's house.  
  
*****  
  
When they arrived back, Gaz was waiting for them. "Took you long enough," she said coldly when Zim handed her the pizza.  
  
"Yes. Yes it did. Now, human girl, where is the dog?" he said impatiently.  
  
"Hang on, it's coming," she snapped back. "Yeesh…"  
  
Gaz walked to the door of Dib's room, where he was locked up with Bug. She pulled a hairpin out of her pocket and picked the lock, then got ready to go in.  
  
"Oh, wait, can I borrow this?" she asked, pointing to GIR's leash.  
  
"Er… I guess so," said Zim, raising an eyebrow curiously.  
  
Gaz took the leash off of GIR, then went inside and shut the door behind her. There were a few muffled yells from Dib, a couple yaps from Bug, and then silence. Gaz walked out again, carrying Bug. Zim peered inside and saw Dib tied up in a chair with the leash, wide-eyed.  
  
"AHA! Good work, human girl," he said to Gaz, then snatched Bug from her. "Hello, little puppy," he said to Bug, who just stared at him. "You are going to help me conquer Earth, and not that awful worm-boy Dib you were stuck with."  
  
And with that, he turned from Gaz and took Bug and GIR back to his house.  
  
*****  
  
"Well, now that I've got this mutt, what should I do?" Zim asked GIR while watching Bug, who was rolling around in the grass of Zim's yard. GIR just stared; he obviously liked Bug very much.  
  
Zim picked up Bug and glared at him, as if trying to figure something out. "TELL ME YOUR SECRET, canine!" he yelled. Bug stared back at him, then yapped. Zim yelped and fell on his back, still holding Bug out above him at arm's length.  
  
"A defense system," he muttered. "Hmm. Clever." He put down the puppy and got back up.  
  
Suddenly, something in Bug's tiny brain clicked. For some odd, unknown reason, Bug made a startling decision. He decided that he liked Zim. Yes, he liked Zim very much. He looked at Zim and wagged his tail, then walked closer to him.  
  
Zim stared at him and backed away a little. "GIR… what's it doing?" he whispered, looking nervous. GIR shrugged and grinned at Bug, who paid absolutely no attention to him. Bug continued following Zim, taking a step for every one Zim took.  
  
"GIR! Take this filthy beast inside, and down to the lab!" yelled Zim, eyeing the dog suspiciously. GIR jumped up and grabbed Bug, then ran inside and down into the lab.  
  
Zim paced around the yard. "Hmm… what sort of cruel experiments to perform upon the dog?" he asked himself, then suddenly pumped a fist into the air. "AHA! We shall test his resistance to KIDDIE SHOWS!" he yelled, then ran into the house and down to the lab.  
  
"GIR! GIR, where are you?" he asked, looking around the lab. There was a faint cry of "WHEEEEHEHE!" and Zim looked up to where the Voot Runner was kept. He saw GIR and Bug sitting in the seat; GIR was punching random buttons and Bug was watching.  
  
Zim sighed and smacked his forehead. "GIR! Get down here, and bring the mutt with you!"  
  
"Awww," said GIR. "Just one more button? PLEASE?" he said, grinning. Zim sighed and nodded.  
  
"Fine, one more button."  
  
And what a button GIR did push. It just happened to be the "Emergency Eject" button. GIR and Bug both went flying through the air, and a section of the roof opened to let them through. They landed out in the yard, Bug on the ground and GIR on the roof.  
  
"GAH!" shouted Zim, running outside. "GIR, what have you done?"  
  
"We went for a ride!" said GIR, grinning dumbly. Bug saw his beloved Zim and walked over to him, tail wagging. Zim backed away a little, watching the dog warily.  
  
"Just what are you plotting?" he demanded, glaring at the dog. "TELL ME! TELL ME NOOOOW!"  
  
The puppy just sat there, staring at him with horribly adorable big eyes, wagging his tail. Zim scowled. "Accursed canine!" he muttered, and picked up Bug, looking at him as if he expected an answer to some unasked question. Bug licked his face, tail beating against Zim's sides.  
  
"YAAAGH!" yelled Zim, disgusted. "Yet another defense system. You are very cleverly designed, dog," he said. "Which is exactly why I am now going to take you back to Dib and his frightening sister now."  
  
*****  
  
Zim marched up to Dib's house, carrying Bug with him. He held Bug out at arm's length, as if expecting him to attack him without warning. He knocked loudly on the door and stomped his foot impatiently when it was not answered within two seconds.  
  
In a moment, Gaz opened the door, looking irritated. "What do you want?" she asked.  
  
"I've come to return your brother's canine," Zim said, handing her Bug. "I have… er… run a number of… experiments on him, and… um… think he would make a terrible guard for Dib's lab. Completely inferior to my advanced technology. So tell Dib that he is completely useless, and he should get rid of him immediately."  
  
And with that, Zim stomped back off to his house, pleased with his great work. Gaz just stared as he left, then mumbled, "Whatever…" and went into the house.  
  
Just then, Dib came down the stairs, muttering angrily about being tied up earlier. "GAZ! Where's Zim? Where'd he take Bug? I'll get him for this…" he said, and stormed out of the house, not noticing that Gaz was holding Bug right in front of him.  
  
Gaz watched, silently, as he slammed the door behind him, then after a few moments, laughed. A lot. She put Bug down. "You're a lot more trouble than you're worth, dog," she said, then did a very surprising thing, and petted him on the head.  
  
THE GLORIOUS ENDING! 


	2. Disclaimer and Other Stuff

Hello! I forgot to put a disclaimer at the beginning of my fic. Being the lazy person that I am, I didn't want to add it to there and re-upload it and all that jazz, so I decided to make it a chapter! Ahahaha! Anyway, here 'tis… the legal stuff you have come to know and love. The DISCLAIMER!  
  
Disclaimer: All Invader Zim characters are copyright to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon. Bug is copyright to Ki.  
  
Also would like to give credit to the wunnerful people who RPed with me to make this fic possible! Kali (Zim), Megan (GIR), and Ki (Dib and Bug). I was Gaz, if you were wondering!  
  
On with the fic now. 


End file.
